Question : Its been 4 months now. I really loved that person and his family had also accepted me. But one day he and his family decided to abandon me. And the reason behind it was his downfall in his career which happened due to his own mistake. But I still love him.
Dear Teentalker,
Thank you for reaching out and sharing your concerns.
Getting over a break up can be painful and even more so, when you both loved each other a great deal, plus the relationship had also gone to the level where your partner’s family was ready to accept you. So, when all of a sudden, they decide to abandon you, that must have come across as a huge shock coupled with immense pain and sadness. A lot of times, the question that typically tends to cross your mind during times such as these is “But what did I do?” However, in this case, you also know that this person’s downfall in his career was due to his mistake. So, there could be a variety of reasons, why he and his family must have chosen to abandon you, one of them being, he probably must have thought, deep down that you deserve someone better and cannot be with a person like him. Another possibility is that when someone is going downhill in one’s career, a lot of financial constraints arises, so the fear of not being able to keep up to your standards or provide you with the life that you deserve tends to be there. Another possibility is that traditional set up demands that no matter what mistakes the boy makes, the families usually tend to cover it up or find ways to still show that they have some control or power left, regardless of the reality. So, in this case, an uncomfortable way of still showing that they have some power was to abandon you or cut you off for good.
It’s amazing to know that you still love him, so if you are keen to make things work, here are some suggestions to help you get through this:
Try talking to this person and let him know that you still care about him and that you’re willing to support him through all the challenges that lie ahead. You can try and talk to his parents about the same as well and then see what they have to say.
It would be great if they are still willing to discuss and make things work, but if that doesn’t happen, I guess it would be time to move on and remember that whatever happened, it was not your fault! So, please don’t harbor guilt feelings for what happened, but instead treat it as a valuable learning lesson that you’ve learnt! And remember, your sense of self-worth depends on what you think of yourself and how you choose to live your life.
In order to get some more understanding about your self-worth, please begin working on the tool ‘You are so worth it’ and ‘Boost your self-esteem’-
To know more about relationships, please read articles, watch videos by clicking on the following link:
Hope this helps! If you need further clarifications, please feel free to write back or you can chat with the Teentalk Experts from Mondays to Saturdays, 11am -8 pm
Regards,
Expert Teentalkindia