Question : Friends are really important to me but it ALWAYS happens with me that whenever i need some help or i reach out for anyone there is NOBODY. I always tried to help everyone to maximum extent i can go but i receive not even 1% of it back. why does this happen to me always. its not that i am a really bad person because people do like talking me but only when they wish to. There is never what i wish to. i just feel like such a looser that i couldnt even do a thing like making friends. Dear Khushi, Teentalker , 16-year-old
Dear Teentalker,
Thank you for reaching out and sharing your concerns.
It can hurt a great deal when you go out of the way to help other people and make them comfortable but they don’t necessarily reciprocate when the time comes. That can feel like life is so unfair and make one wonder, what’s the point of being so nice, so kind? But then, being helpful and committed to what you’re doing is at the very core of who you are and that’s precisely why going through such phases can seem so challenging, so difficult, so painful.
Being extremely kind to people, doesn’t make you loser; infact, this world needs more people who think like you now than before. His Holiness the Dalai Lama once said, ” Old friends pass away, new friends appear, it is just like the days an old day passes, a new day arrives.The important thing is to make it meaningful; a meaningful friend or a meaningful day.”
So, if you’re not able to form meaningful relationships, because people are taking advantage of your goodness, then focus on living a meaningful life. Focus on those things that make you truly happy. For example, it could be while painting, pursuing a dance class, travelling or even playing with a friend’s dog or cat. These are only a few examples. The point I’m trying to make here is focus on what brings you tremendous joy, whether it is in terms of your career or your free time and consciously start working towards those dreams.
Because, “it is when you work towards your dreams with passion, you will eventually meet people who follow theirs and that’s when you will be able to form meaningful relationships and friendships.”
Also, as we’ve all rightfully heard, about too much of anything is not good for your health, the same goes out with being too kind. I’m not asking you to give up on your core value system of being nice and kind, but sometimes it is okay to be a little selfish, not be too helpful as well as think twice before doing favours for anyone and save your genuine concern for people who truly deserve it.
Hope this helps, if you have any other query do connect online for chat between 11am-8pm or drop us an offline message.
Regards,
Expert Teentalk India