Question : In school, I have to deal with all kinds of people. But honestly, sometimes, I feel so frustrated that I want to smash everyone’s face against the wall. But I don’t say anything to them but inside I know, I don’t like them. They’re few people whom I really love. Am I a bad person? Am I double-faced? I am sick of being good to everyone. Teentalker , 14-year-old
Dear Teentalker,
Thank you for reaching out and sharing your concerns.
As a young child, school is one of the first places that a person gets exposed to, outside the four walls of a person’s home. At such times, you will come into contact with people from all walks of life. You may like some peers, you may not like some and that’s okay. In fact, it is alright to get angry and irritated; what really matters is how you manage your anger. Getting angry and keeping those feelings inside of you, doesn’t make you a bad or a two-faced person.
However, ignoring those feelings and bottling them up inside is unhealthy, because, if you don’t allow that energy or feelings to flow the right way, then it will come out the wrong way, which in turn can cause a lot of damage to the relationships.
Here are a few suggestions to help you get through this phase:
1. Write letters but don’t send them: Write a letter/s to all the people who’ve hurt you in anyway. Make sure, you share your innermost thoughts and feelings by writing it down on paper. After you finish writing the letter, make sure to shred it/tear it to pieces and throw them away.
2. Practice the empty-chair technique: Imagine the person whom you want to resolve your issues with is sitting in the empty-chair. Then say, whatever, you wish to. Please make sure you have your personal space/privacy while working on this activity.
3. Play a sport: Playing a sport such as football, hockey, even kickboxing can be very cathartic and can give an outlet for your frustration.
You can also read some of these articles to learn more about dealing with anger.
i) Overcoming these 5 bad emotions might change your life- (category: depression and anxiety)
ii) How to deal with anger- (category: relationships)
You can also work on the following tools to help you get started:
1. The Gratitude Journal
2. Dealing with anger
In order to access all tools, please select the tab ‘Toolbox’ and click on Tools.
You can also watch some videos on our website on assertiveness.
Hope this
helps, if you have any other query do connect online for chat from 11am-8pm or drop us an offline message.
Regards,