Almost every parent and teen dialogue ends with this almost rhetorical question, ‘Don’t you trust me?” Sometimes garnished with tears
Teens and parents often have disagreements. They could be about a study circle with classmates, a few long phone calls with friends or a late night party with BFF. And since many of the reasons are important to teens, they often start to doubt their parents only, which is not healthy for their relationship in the long run. Let’s dig a little deeper into the issue and try to understand it.
- Asking too many questions, drilling and digging for information
- Repeating instructions again and again
- Almost an interrogation like discussion
- Sneakily trying to hack into your social media profiles, phones etc.
However, you need to understand that these signs do not indicate that their parents do not trust you, rather there are many underlying reason for it which we teens are not able to see.
Make a role replacement
Look at the world from a parent perspective. In this ever changing world, parents are largely responsible for a child’s safety. With dangers right from speeding cars to untrustworthy humans lurking around every corner, their job is not at all easy.
You both want the same thing
Strangely, however both of you want the same thing: Your wellbeing. You are both trying to make the right moves so your life is better later on. Since you and your parents are both different people, you will approach the situation you unique way and that might cause some clashes.
Communication is the Key
Trust is a process, it takes a lot of time to cultivate. The first step is communicate. Next time, when the situation is not very heated up, open up a conversation with your parents about how it makes you feel, share with them how mistrusted it makes you feel. Plan this conversation well, so it does not start an argument.
More importantly, you need to give yourself time, and if by chance, you have flouted it ever, then it is going to take a lot longer and a lot of work to build it again. So have patience, the process might be long, but will be worth it in the end, so keep your eyes on the fruit. An important principle is, be honest and truthful, it may hurt, afterall, “No gain, without pain”.
And when you feel helpless and angered by their inability to trust you, try walking a mile in your parents’ shoes, I can bet those shoes bite!