Question : I think the boy to whom I attracted also loves me but I am not sure please help me, his changed behaviour makes me afraid of losing him.
Being in love can be a beautiful feeling, but the reality of any relationship for that matter is that it is never perfect, in fact it is about learning to manage relations despite all the imperfections! So, if you’re saying you love him and you’re not too sure if he feels the same way anymore, then it is important to reassure him that you care about him deeply and that he is an important person in your life. If his behaviour has changed towards you, then that, too could be happening for various reasons, for example, he might be going through something difficult which he does not wish to share with you as yet or there are might be a variety of other reasons for the same. It is important to give him the benefit of doubt or give him some time and space, if you want things to work out for both of you; however, if you don’t see any improvement in his behaviour, then it might be better to move on and do exactly what you want.
To help you understand relationships a little better, here’s what I would like to share:
Please have a look at Robert Sternberg’s triangular theory of love and the different stages:
1. Liking (intimacy): that is good friendship between persons of the same or opposite sex
2. Infatuation (that is ‘crush’ or ‘attraction’): passion
3. Romantic Love: passion + intimacy
4. Fatuous Love: passion + commitment (commitment= long term)
5. Empty Love: commitment
6. Companionate Love: Intimacy+ Commitment
7. Consummate Love: Intimacy+ Passion + Commitment (the kind of love that typically leads to marriage)
The trend to be in a relationship is becoming quite popular these days and as a result, many teenagers are increasingly becoming a part of the ‘hookup culture’.
Hookup culture: refers to getting into a relationship out of curiosity and for the sake of experimentation; in most cases people end up having sexual contact with no strings attached. These kind of relationships, unfortunately, have the potential to turn abusive and can create confusion as to what constitutes a healthy, committed and intimate relationship.
Therefore, if one chooses to be in a relationship, make sure it is healthy and one where a person can maintain a sense of trust, openness, honesty and still give and respect one another’s privacy. If you choose to get physically close, then please keep in mind the outcomes while doing so. You may visit our webpage to know more:
Hope this helps! If you need further clarifications, please feel free to write back or you can chat with the Teentalk Experts from Mondays to Saturdays:11am-8pm
Regards, Expert Teentalkindia